I bet that title got your attention! Well hopefully what follows will merit you attention. 😜
I have been thinking about something lately.
Recently I was conversing with a friend about a situation he was in. He had noticed a friend of his wasn’t responding to him. I suggested that maybe she had a little crush on him and she was trying to figure something out. His response was genuine and raw. “God I hope not!” Followed by the sound you would make when you smell a fowl odor.
*heavy sigh*
Ouch.
You see, I am a chubby girl. I have been a chubby girl most of my life on earth. I am also a living human with a pulse so I have had crushes. Somewhere in high school I just stopped telling guys when I was interested because of responses like that. Responses of horror and disgust. Let me just say rejection sucks but rejection mixed with horror and disgust is pretty soul crushing. Maybe that is why they are called crushes? After a while I learned to just shut certain parts of myself off so I would not be disappointed and demolished.
So I shall now count down ten things I would like you regular sized humans to know…
10. Yes I am going to eat that.
What I choose to shovel down my throat is none of your dang business. You do not need to comment on the volume or on what variety of food stuff I consume. You are not my physician so you need not concern yourself with the level sugar or cholesterol in my hemoglobin. Go eat a cookie, it will make you feel better about your life. Leave me in peace.
9. Yes I am aware that I am large.
I don’t know how many times I have been told I am big. As if you saying that would be some great revelation? Are you serious?
As if:
Person: “I can see that you are very heavy.”
Me (in shock): “What? Oh my lord! When did this happen? I never look at myself in a mirror so I was completely ignorant of my physical appearance! Thank you so much for telling me. I will begin eating broccoli and boiled chicken immediately. Phew!”
Seriously. Go acquire some manners.
And yes people actually utter verbal manure like that to me on the regular, and it is not always people under the age of ten.
8. I am not offended when you mention exercise and diet.
I have a friend who would say “No offense.” to me every time she would mention diet and exercise in a sentence. I am not offended when you talk about pursuing a healthy lifestyle, however singling me out in a group of people when ever you mention a healthy lifestyle is very insulting. Give me a break.
7. If I loose weight and you notice it is perfectly okay to tell me IF we are good friends.
If you don’t really know me shut up. Thanks. I am already hyper aware of my body and how it looks to others. Please for the love don’t make it worse. However if we are besties PLEASE tell me that all my hard work it visible to you.
6. Sometimes I need to make a salty remark about my enormous butt.
If it is funny laugh. Don’t say anything just freakin laugh.
5. If I say I am fat, or feel fat don’t tell me I am beautiful.
I didn’t say I was ugly I said I am fat. Reality is important. Let’s all agree to live in it and not enter the realm of schizophrenia.
4. When I share my story with you don’t be awkward.
I used to be heavier and I lost over 200 pounds. I am however still a planet… well maybe a dwarf planet (shout out to Pluto) but still a planet. Just let me say what I need to say and tell me thanks. Please for the love of all the cookies don’t tell me some story about perseverance. I. Will. Die. Just let me wallow and word vomit. I will get over it. Thanks for listening.
3. Invite me to do all the things!
My besties are amazing at this. When they go hiking they invite me to come even though I am slow and a little broken. They still invite me. They don’t assume I don’t want to go, they ask. They want me to come and they are willing to pay the price. They wait for me when I am slower. As much as I hate that I cannot keep pace with them it means the world to me that they want me to go on adventures with them. ❤️
2. If I don’t ask for your advice about my weight and eating please do not give it to me.
Through the years many well meaning people have given me all sorts of advice and insight into my journey with MY body that I didn’t ask for. Just because I complain about my chubby state does not mean I am open to your opinion about how I should handle my health. I don’t want to hear about your fat aunt Carla’s gastric bypass surgery, or your buddy who tired the hot dog diet. I am not them. Not all fat people are the same.
1. If I have/had a crush on you for the love of God treat me like a human being.
Don’t act like I am a disease. I am a person. I have feelings. My body is only one part of me. It is in a state of flux. I know what I look like and I feel like a tub of lard pretty much all the time. Please don’t confirm all the nightmares of my imagination and react as through someone asked you to pull a turd out of a clogged toilet with your bare hands when the very thought of me having feelings for you comes up. That crap hurts deep. It is a feeling I hope you NEVER experience. No one fat or thin should be worthy of that kind of response. Just say, “She is not my type.”, or “I don’t see her that way.”, not “Eeew! God that is disgusting!”
There are more things I could say but for now I will leave you with these ten things. Hopefully you are a more conscientious human then you were before you read this rambling slightly angry post.
Have a beautiful day.
Rachel Anne Redfield 