I have been working on this free verse poem for over a month. It is like nothing I have ever written before, but I really like it. Enjoy! -R.
Love Lifted My Head
I sit on the island of survival. The shore of made it. Beneath the tree of getting by. I look out and my eyes behold the sea. Shame. Guilt. Bitter anger. Despair darkens the sky. Depression trickles down. The stench of failure saturates the wind. My clothes are self hatred and rejection. I shiver beneath a blanket of worthlessness. The tighter I grip it the colder I feel. Tears are my drink, weariness my main course, and dessert? Loneliness.
How did I arrive in this wretched place? I cannot remember. How do I escape if I cannot remember the way I came here? What am I to do? Where are the answers? Is there no way out? Why do I stay here? Do I have a choice? Where are the answers?!
I feel as though I have been here all of my life. I am weakened and weary. I have tried to escape but to no avail. So I sit on this beach existing. Breathing. I long to sleep, to dream but sleep never comes. I don’t know what to do. Lightning on the horizon and thunder tears though the air… they are fear. I shall die here.
I hang my head in despair, to weep again but I find no tears are there. I lie there beneath my blanket worthlessness and await death. I think I shall welcome it. In my defeat I let out a sigh and say words from my broken heart, “Please, please save me. My way has failed. My plan fell to ruin. Please save me, I am so very lost.” I close my eyes and wait. I feel the weight of my brokenness increasing and I think it will crush me. “Please someone help me!” barely a whisper. In my heart I surrender.
Suddenly something shifts…
The wind smells sweet and spicy. It feels warm and gentle. I open my eyes. The dark angry ocean begins to change color. It rolls softly now. The rain stops and the clouds begin to break up. What is happening? Light escapes from the cracks. Oh how wonderful it feels on my skin! It warms me all the way into my heart.
At that instant I feel the touch of a strong steady kind hand on my head. This hand is like nothing I have felt! My heart begins to race. I feel warmth go throughout my entire being. This hand is love.
Love lifts my head. Immediately my heavy blanket worthlessness disappears! Love continues to lift me to my feet. Love draws my face toward His. Love places a kiss upon my lips. Love’s kiss heals me to my core. My clothes change from self hatred and rejection to peace and belonging. My eyes behold a banquet feast set before me. Every color I see is bright. Life all around me! How did I arrive in such a glorious place? I don’t care. My heart is alive! I surrendered, and I am new! I am rescued! I am safe, warm, and whole. Beauty and light soak into my bones. A smile dances across my face and laughter bellows from deep within my soul. Love is real. Love is here. Love has come and Love will stay. I am my Beloved’s and He is mine!
Love lifted my head.
-R.© Rachel Anne Redfield 2012